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Writer's pictureP2B Consulting

Mentoring

Updated: Feb 15

The article provides insights on do's and don'ts in Mentoring.  What needs to be done in a mentoring process. Role of mentee and mentor in mentoring.  The article also examines  misconceptions in Mentoring and how to build a mentoring process in a company.


Mentoring is an active, challenging process, rather than a passive, monotonous process.

  • a process of deliberately pairing the skilled and experienced staff with less experienced people.

  • a process of learning from each other.

  • a process to improve organizational effectiveness.

Mentoring helps to:

  • Fill a developmental need

  • Have a structured way for the people to train and help each other

  • Develop a positive attitude towards the Job and Organization

  • To build a learning organisation


ROLE OF MENTOR IN MENTOR-SHIP:

Mentoring enhances the Mentor’s professional life as well as Mentee’s. A mentor affects the professional life of a Mentee by fostering insight, identifying needed knowledge, and expanding growth opportunities. Mentoring helps to strengthen Mentor’s coaching and leadership skills by working with individuals from different backgrounds and with different personality types. Through Mentoring Process, the Mentor’s can increase the talent pool in the Organization, and increase the internal hires to fill in the key positions in the Organization.The main difference between managing and mentoring is mostly a matter of intensity and direction. Managers are concerned with their employees' performances, making sure they complete tasks accurately, on time, and within budget. As a mentor, your purpose is to provide your Mentee with perspective and questions that encourage learning and to challenge the individual to think in new and creative ways.

Mentoring Process has three stages:

In the Mentoring relationship, The Mentor and Mentee are expecting to go through 3 phases.

1. RAPPORT BUILDING

In the first Mentoring Process, both the Mentee and Mentor will experience a period of anxiety and uncertainty, not knowing what to expect from the relationship.

  • Listen without judgment.

  • Focus on learning: Let your Mentee know that you may not have all the answers and that you can learn from each other. Find out what your Mentee can teach you that you would like to learn. Or together, investigate an area you both would like to learn more about.

  • Appreciate your differences: Recognize those differences while respecting your common needs and objectives. And remember, the more differences between you and your Mentee, the more learning that occurs for you both. Let your Mentee know that sometimes you will have to discuss some uncomfortable issues and that such frank conversations will only deepen the relationship. If your communication is not honest, integrity is lost and the relationship suffers.

  • Be mindful of how your message comes across. Your body language and tone of voice say more to your Mentee than your actual words. Practice delivering constructive feedback by rehearsing what you will say with an outside party. Also, be careful not to send mixed signals through your body language. For example, your Mentee might perceive you to be angry because you have a frown on your face during your conversation or your arms are folded in front of you. You may not be angry at all, but simply concentrating on what your Mentee is saying. Be a model of authenticity by consistently aligning your actions with your values and intentions.

2. EXPLORATION TOGETHER:

In the next phase, you and your Mentee enjoy the excitement of endless possibilities and new opportunities.

Establish Goals for the Mentoring Relationship

Advise the Mentee to come with specific questions such as What does s/he expect from a mentor?

What are your development goals for the year? Where do you see yourself in three years?

Plan your schedule with the Mentee: When both of you will meet, mechanisms for providing feedback and inputs through emails, telephone etc.

Plan the closing of each Mentoring meeting: Pose a question that your Mentee should prepare an answer for the next time you meet-this will give you something to structure the meeting around.

You resist the temptation to tell your Mentee what to do and instead allow the individual to think through problems and come up with solutions independently. The more you play the role of teller, the more dependent your Mentee will be on you for answers. But as your Mentee begins to grow and develop more confidence, you'll want to provide a range of options on how to handle a specific situation and let the individual decide the best course of action to take. By really listening to your Mentee explains a problem, you'll begin to understand the individual's strengths, weaknesses, and fears about the situation, and help him/her solve problems by himself or herself.

Provide broad direction, and ask your Mentee how that approach might work in his or her

situation. Another way to offer guidance without providing answers is to play the role of devil's advocate.


3. SUSTAINABILITY OF RELATIONSHIP:

In the third phase, both you and your Mentee will feel tempted to push the boundaries to see how candid and straightforward you can be in the mentoring relationship. Following up with your Mentee to discuss the outcome of the situation is key to helping the individual derive learning from the experience. The follow-up should go beyond whether your Mentee solved the problem. It's important to find out what the individual has learned from the situation and the process.

When discussing the outcome, ask your Mentee: What about your approach worked and what would you do differently in the same situation? What did you learn from this experience that would be useful in other situations? What did you learn about yourself in the process? Your Mentee's answers will give you an opportunity to evaluate his or her progress by revealing areas in which the individual demonstrated learning.

LEARN WHEN TO RENEW OR END YOUR PARTNERSHIP

  1. Your assessment of the relationship may result in a decision to end the partnership. Letting go is rarely comfortable, but it is necessary if your Mentee is to flourish and continue to grow without you. Whether our Mentee is moving on to a new mentor or is ready to go it alone, you need to give the relationship some closure. To do this, plan a celebration to mark the occasion. The celebration does not have to be elaborate; just meeting for coffee or lunch is appropriate. This last meeting is a good time to share stories and reflect on the relationship. Reflection allows you to examine what you both learned and accomplished during the mentoring process. The final meeting is also a chance for your Mentee to express appreciationors.

  2. for your guidance and for you to wish your Mentee well in his or her future endeavPart of your role as a mentor is to recognize the signs that indicate your relationship may be reaching a transitional point. For example, is your Mentee contacting you less often exhibiting openness in communications? Expressing less appreciation for your input? Subtly indicating that he or she can get help for a growing number of issues elsewhere? If so, these signs may indicate your relationship is ready for a change.


  3. Approach the issue with non-defensiveness; understand that the needs of your Mentee may have changed. Let your Mentee know what you are noticing and indicate a non-judgemental desire to deal with differences in the relationship.


  4. The best way for you and your Mentee to end, renew, or revive your mentoring relationship is to do it met your expectations as well as your Mentee's.


  5. Your assessment of the relationship may result in a decision to end the partnership. Letting go is rarely comfortable, but it is necessary if your Mentee is to flourish and continue to grow without you. Whether our Mentee is moving on to a new mentor or is ready to go it alone, you need to give the relationship some closure. To do this, plan a celebration to mark the occasion. The celebration does not have to be elaborate; just meeting for coffee or lunch is appropriate. This last meeting is a good time to share stories and reflect on the relationship. Reflection allows you to examine what you both learned and accomplished during the mentoring process. The final meeting is also a chance for your Mentee to express appreciation.

ROLE OF MENTEE IN MENTORSHIP

A popular Zen story goes: "A successful man went to a Zen master and announced he had come to learn all about Zen. The master invited the man to sit down and have tea. As the master poured the tea, it overflowed.

The man shouted, 'It's spilling, it's spilling!' To which the master replied, 'Precisely, you came with a full cup. Your cup is already spilling over, so how can I give you anything? Unless you come with emptiness, I can give you nothing.” Just as the full cup accepted no more tea, the closed mind accepts no more learning. Being open to input, course correction, new ways of thinking, and possibly daunting new experiences can be challenging and a bit scary. Opening yourself to mentoring may suggest that you don't have every base covered and that you still have some growing to do. This can be hard to admit, especially in the workplace.

However, you must remember that people who seek mentoring tend to grow on the job, and those who solicit feedback usually get it. If you persist in looking for learning, seeking challenge, and welcoming growth, you will have many teachers and many mentors.

Having a mentor is more important than ever before. By having a mentor, you can:

1. Broaden opportunities. Besides helping you develop important professional connections and expanding your network of contacts, a mentor can expose you to new opportunities. For example, if your mentor is a high-level executive, you may be placed in environments and confronted with situations that you may not have been until later in your career. Furthermore, the visibility you get from working with a high-level executive can affect how others see you and may influence future opportunities.

2. Broaden understanding: A mentor can provide you with valuable information about the people, processes, and culture of your organization. Further, a mentor is likely to have already experienced similar decision-making processes and can help by providing a different perspective-a fresh, objective, outsider's viewpoint backed by expertise and experience.

3. See yourself as others may see you. We all have blind spots when it comes to our own performance and personal conduct. Being unaware of how your actions affect others can keep you from accomplishing your goals. For example, your colleagues will certainly notice your tendency to interrupt them while they are speaking, but will unlikely approach you about your bad habit.

4. Develop and refine ideas. A mentor can serve as an excellent sounding board for your ideas. The individual can offer knowledge and experience to help you think through and shape your ideas as well as provide the encouragement you need to take action.

Preparing for the first meeting: In a mentoring relationship, the Mentee must be the driver; Mentees benefit when they lead the mentoring relationship.

One of your biggest responsibilities as a Mentee is to make sure you are getting what you need from your mentor. Your first meeting is the perfect time to get your relationship moving in the right direction. To prepare for this meeting, consider the following questions:


What should your mentor know about you in order to work most successfully with you?

How do you learn best-by reading, observing, doing, or listening?

What are your desired outcomes for the mentoring relationship?

What do you expect from your mentor? What do you think will be able to help you most?

How will you know if the relationship is working? What do you want to gain from this partnership?

The answers to these questions will help you establish goals and objectives for the mentoring relationship.

To help you determine your objectives, consider the following:

What image do you wish to project in the organization?

What intellectual capital do you possess that you want the organization to tap into? What do you want to learn from the organization?

What talents do you want to utilize during your mentoring experience that you may not be able to use in your current position?

What is your approach to solving problems, tackling projects, and working with people? Where do you need to modify your approach?

Your development objectives serve as a blueprint for you and your mentor as well as a strategic approach to your professional development.

MOVE THE RELATIONSHIP FORWARD

Your responsibilities as a Mentee do not end with the creation of your development objectives; you need to keep the relationship moving forward. The focus should be on the successful achievement of your goals. Therefore, you must play an active role in creating an effective mentoring relationship by taking on the following responsibilities:

Initiate periodic meetings with your mentor and prepare an agenda.

Come to mentoring meetings ready to share positive experiences that moved you closer to achieving your goals

as well as experiences that set you back.

Solicit feedback from your mentor on what he or she is observing in you.

With your mentor, assess your progress, identify setbacks, and determine next steps.

Much of what you get out of your mentoring experience depends on your willingness to learn, to be open and honest, and to ask for what you need. If what you're getting from the relationship is not helping you to meet your objectives, your mentor needs to know so the appropriate adjustments can be made.

Identify the distinguishing features for your mentoring relationship and work with your mentor to cultivate them. For example, do you want the relationship to encourage open and frank conversations, promote out-of- the box thinking, or provide a climate in which to generate new perspectives? Also, share with your mentor how you best learn and what you bring to the mentoring experience in terms of your commitment to make a contribution to the organization and to your professional growth.

Maintaining the Momentum

Begin by asking yourself questions that will help you sustain your commitment:

What was the one aspect of my development during my mentoring experience that I want to continue cultivating over the next six months to a year?

How will focusing on that aspect make me more successful and influence the contribution that I want to make to the organization?

What are my risks if I stop right now, and what will I gain if I press on?


HOW TO DELIVER FEEDBACK TO YOUR MENTOR IN A TACTFUL AND CONFIDENT WAY:

Develop a clear and concise description of the specific issues on which you wish to give feedback. For example, perhaps your mentor is not allowing enough time to meet with you. Or perhaps your mentor lectures too much and doesn't give you an opportunity to do your own thinking.


Ask your mentor's permission before you give feedback, so that your mentor will be more open to your input. You can broach the subject simply by saying, "I have some feedback I'd like to offer. Would you like to hear it?"


Before stating any criticisms, express specifics about what your mentor is doing that you appreciate: For example, you might say, "I like it that when I bring up a concern, you really take me and the issue seriously and offer ideas." Then, tell your mentor what is getting in the way of his or her mentoring effectiveness. You might add, "It would be even more helpful if you didn't describe your solutions and ideas quite so thoroughly and instead asked me what I might do in a situation." Finally, thank your mentor for being open to the feedback, and together decide how you can flag such issues as they arise in the future.


THE MISCONCEPTIONS OF MENTORING

Mentors can do many things for you and your career; however, there are some things you should not expect from your mentor. The role of a mentor is:

Not to find you a new job. A mentor can help you grow so that you are ready take on new roles on your own.Not to tell you what to do. Your mentor's role is to help guide your decisions, not make them for you.Not to coddle you. The most effective mentors push you out of your comfort zone and encourage you to take risks.

While having a mentor can enhance your development, a mentor alone will not guarantee you success-you have to do your part as well. You can make the most of a mentoring relationship by being curious, honest with yourself, and open to learning.


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